If you tell him you are not interested in jumping into a relationship with both feet, he will set out to try to change your mind.
Unfortunately when it comes to a relationship most men are like little, terrified puppies you can find around the corner in a shoebox, left on a street in a pouring rain (enter sad violin music). Of course they will rather crawl into a pit hole and die sooner than admit the sad truth.
A woman needs to show that she is interested in a man but it’s nothing serious. She needs to be cautious and mindful of his fears and doubts.
However, you don’t want to go into too intense approach. You can’t be too cold and uncaring. Remember about the little puppy in a shoebox. It needs coaxing, step by step convincing that this is his home, that he can feel safe but not bound. Never restrict man’s freedom but also don’t give him a cold shoulder. If he senses you lost interest totally, he will look for new hunting grounds.
Yes, I know it’s complicated, being hot&cold. It’s the essence of the game of love. Don’t you agree?
A bitch gives a man plenty of space so he doesn’t fear being trapped in a cage. Then . . . he sets out to trap her in his.
True and again a continuation of the previous principles.
The golden rule stays the same – do not make him feel trapped or let him feel that it’s obligatory to stay with you. Let him have a choice. Or at least think he has one.
Often the seemingly simple message you are sending to him gets distorted in the process of complicated male understanding.
Don’t make him confess his “sins” of not calling or not telling you where he was at midnight and why in a bar with those moron friends you don’t like. Don’t pressure him into telling you his secrets and he will gladly share them with you. What is more, he will feel that he needs to make an effort for you to be interested in what he is doing and in turn sharing your secrets with him.
Cement the relationship by building on a common need to share.
In conclusion we can repeat again – men are hunters and they like to chase the prey that resists. The hunt is often exciting for the hunter and the prey alike. The real question is, how to make the excitement last…
Whenever a woman requires too many things from a man, he’ll resent it. Let him give what he wants to give freely; then observe who he is.
True to a certain degree.
We have already established that a man is a conqueror, a warrior and of course a hunter. I agree with the author, that men like to do the impossible, take the longest route possible and complicate the most simple things just to prove that they can do it.
A conclusion? Make it difficult for him to contact you, get you to meet him and sacrifice your precious free time for him. Let him fight and go out of his way to create a loophole in your busy schedule.
When he calls don’t pick up the phone in the exact second it rings, don’t write back immediately after receiving a message and don’t jump onto the first proposition of a date for your meeting.
In plain words: let him fight for you, if not for your well being than for his.
Also let’s repeat here the rule: don’t smother him! Let him feel as if he has plenty of space to make turn and navigate on the stormy waters of a relationship.
There are also a no-no words, red alert words or words called OMG you might as well jump over the cliff. Don’t, even unintentionally, pressure him into thinking that this relationship is for forever, it will lead to marriage and a bunch of babies together with a golden retriever and a suburban house with white fence. In fact don’t discuss the future to broadly and to often.
Let him think that there is spontaneity to the course your relationship is taking. Let him think he holds the reigns and sets the pace, but we all know who is the head and who the neck in a male-female oriented relationships.
If you smother him, he’ll go into defense mode and look for an escape route to protect his freedom.
This rule is a sort of follow up to the previous one and it’s absolutely true.
You will not only appear to be mothering him but you will also limit the scope of his freedom. Don’t be overbearing and demanding about silly things like calling every two hours to give a report how the day was and what happened. Time will come for sharing, relax, breathe and let him be a minute without your presence and questions.
A key here is patience. Yes, that’s correct – Patience. Now, let’s face it, easily said than done…being patient when it comes to your man is like asking a three year old to hold out and not eat a delicious pink candy before home made dinner. Very tough indeed, but rewarding. Seriously it goes a long way to show him that he will have support when needed and breathing space when necessary.
Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have to take care of your man. They are basically big babies anyway so it’s in a package, like first aid mother kit. However, it needs to be well balanced care. The best way is to do it in a clandestine way, so that he doesn’t notice. Shouldn’t be hard, apart from being a babies they are also keen on overlooking small, everyday details.
To sum up, the doormat will be all over her man, squishing him with a rock hard love, good advice and aid. The bitch will remember her position, don’t push her care on a man but give it in a discreet way. Or not give it at all, after all she is a queen bee and all the drones should cater to HER needs or else be gone ;).
Whether you have terms and conditions indicates whether you have options. Almost immediately, you present yourself as a doormat or a dreamgirl.
Yes! Remember this rule because it’s a genuine one.
A man will respect you as far as your own self respect goes. There is no middle ground. Ask yourself a question, would you respect a person that is perfectly laid out for you to step on and trample? The same goes with a too nice girl aka the doormat.
It has nothing to do with being nice or impolite. You need to respect and appreciate yourself first because no one will do it for you!
We already established that a man likes a challenge, likes to hunt and likes to be superior. What happens when he reaches all three marks? Like every simpleminded little kid he starts to throw tantrums and get bored.
It’s your choice to either meekly accept it and let the child in him prevail or to stand up to your convictions and make him behave like a grown up and appreciate you.
It’s a constant fight between his expectations and your convictions. He wants you to be independent yes but also he wants you to be like his mother. And we all know that it’s one step away from being a total doormat…
And frankly mother type is the one that gets cheated the most. They do nothing wrong, to the contrary, they are perfect but it’s the bitch that gets to steal the guy. That turns him on.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not encouraging anybody to become a bitchy lover and make a guy cheat with you on his wife. A big NO.
However, you can’t allow to fall into the category of mommy-doormat. You might as well kiss your relationship goodbye.
What’s the general rule?
Do not appear to be mothering him! Don’t ask him the questions his mother would ask. Don’t smother him. In other words, don’t let your relationship become boring and your conversations predictable.
A man knows which woman will give in to last-minute requests.
It’s male sixth sense. Women have their intuition, men can find the perfect victim.If you yield to early or too eagerly you will regret it and be seen as a doormat. A man will often test the grounds and try to coerce a woman to leave her comfort zone and give in to him. Forsaking your plans in order to meet him sends a clear signal: my time is less important than yours, my plans can always be rearranged for you.
The above behaviour suits the doormat not the bitch. The bitch will calmly and confidently turn down anything that might undermine her position in the relationship. She establishes herself in a fortress of decisiveness and strong will. She knows then to say yes and when to put her foot down.
Be advised: it’s not about being a capricious princess but about standing your ground and keeping to your views.
A man must understand that his time and your time are equally precious.
Being right on the verge of getting something generates a desire that has to be satisfied.
The author argues that “Men often admit, “You always want what you can’t have.””, and that is absolutely true. Never show him that he has you in his grip. Never show him that you are completely his. It all just makes him stop showering you with attention and lay back with his hands folded behind his head. He got you after all, hook, line and sinker.
Every so often remind him that you are and never will be his property. You may graciously allow him to bask in your presence and enjoy your company but you are your own woman.
The nice girl will doom herself from the beginning. She will answer his every call and cancel her personal plans and adjust her schedule only to meet the man.
Going out of your way to meet him is a big no no.
From time to time remind him who has to chase whom. When he tells you about his plans for you at the last minute, gently remind him that your time is precious and schedule tight. You will meet him when it’s most convenient for you. And he will get out of his way to make it happen.
When a woman doesn’t give in easily and doesn’t appear docile or submissive, it becomes more stimulating to obtain her.
Again we go back to the cycle the hunter and the hunted. Men love it, it’s like a primal tail that was left behind by the caveman.
The most thrilling chase is the one when the prey is ambitious, clever and tricky to catch. The more of a challenge you are to him, the more exciting it is for him to finally get you.
In every movie and romance, the mysterious woman gets all the interest. The woman clad in black velvets, with a blood red lipstick and a slim cigarette will get the man of the hour. Become that woman. Don’t let your docile side overcome the sexy one. Change into femme fatale and observe that thrill in his eyes.
However, you cannot seem too inapproachable or uninterested. Men like danger, as long as it does not harm them. They need that initial incentive, that spark in your eye, a little nod in his direction, a small gesture.
If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the bitch will prioritize her dignity above all else.
Aretha sung R.E.S.P.E.C.T. not without a reason. If you want respect from your environment, from your man, you must respect yourself first. The good girl will fall head over heels for a guy and forget about her needs, her values and her respect.
The bitch will never do that. She has strong views and convictions and she won’t sell them cheap no matter how attractive the guy might be. Ultimately it is not worth it.
All those strong qualities attract men. They are not afraid of the bitch but they desire her, she seems to them a reliable, capable woman who is not afraid to stand her ground.
If you do not need a guy he starts needing you like air. If you don’t follow him blindly he turns into a believer and an acolyte ready for pilgrimage. If you don’t depend on him and treat him like a life rope he starts needing you like air.
Do the reverse, act like a doormat and he will stomp over you and leave you behind like a used up tissue.
The biggest variable between a bitch and a woman who is too nice is fear. The bitch shows that she’s not afraid to be without him.
With or without him… A song should have that title.
It is a fact that unfortunately most women are governed by an irrational fear of being left alone. By loneliness and prospect of no life after a relationship. They seems to think that without a man by their side they will be empty, half-good and hollow.
What an absurd view!
There is no such thing as a two halves stuck together by glue. There are various people that wander around the paths of life and have chance encounters. Some will fit together like gloves, some need more friction to get it going and some just won’t fit no matter what. We are searching sometimes our whole lives. We certainly can’t settle for the next best thing when there is so much territory to explore. There are billions of people on the world. Do you really think that this one person is assigned to you for life?
Never be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and taste freedom, taste life without him. It is necessary not only for the health of your relationship but mostly for your mental health.
Your strength will come from this knowledge: there is life without him and it will be a damn good life – single or not.