The plate fell to the floor with a loud crash. Meredith looked numbly at the white shells. The delicate blue embroidery was barely visible. The plate was a part of her wedding gift, a part of her former life. Now it was broken, just like her marriage. The pieces crumbled, unfit to be whole again. Who would have thought that such a magical story, something straight from a fairy tale, would end in such a disaster?
The divorce destroyed her. It was a painful and long ordeal. Kevin and her have been married just for three short years when things started to go from bad to worse. Two days shy of their wedding anniversary, when she was all chirpy and happy, her husband told her that he didn’t loved her. That he didn’t know if he ever did, that their marriage was a mistake and they would be better of apart. The news hit her like a ton of bricks. Till this day she remembers how her heart clenched, as if some invisible hand caught it in a steel grasp and didn’t want to let go.
Those days during the separation and finally the divorce, passed by in a haze of alcohol, sleeping pills and crowds of unknown faces. She threw herself into a binge of drinking and partying. Her friends were trying, in their own twisted way, to get her out of the pit hole she fell in. They were supporting her. However, the fact was that she didn’t want them to.
She didn’t want pity.
Meredith wanted her husband back period. She wanted his love again. She wanted to know how can she turn back time, how to get back to this moment when they were so happy, when the world revolved around the two of them.
The time when she thought they could do anything, live any way they wanted. Just being together was enough. Just seeing his face, hearing him breath beside her feeling his touch, all of it was enough to get her through the day.
When did it all go to ruin? When? What went wrong?
And finally – could she have done something about it?
Meredith looked at Jack’s sleeping face and smiled. The hair fell on his forehead and it took her every ounce of self-control not to reach out and brush it away. If she succumbed to the temptation he would surely wake up. She knew him well now, all his quirks and habits, and he knew her.
Who would have thought that she could be so happy, that she could thrive and love again? Less than a year ago she was in the deepest pitfall desperately clawing her way out. Less than a year ago she would give everything to have her old life back, now she couldn’t care less. Kevin and their marriage was a distant memory. Not entirely a bad one, but a one that taught her a valuable lesson. A lesson about her strengths and weaknesses. The divorce destroyed her but also set her free.
Now she was seeing bright future before her. She could see her life together with the men sleeping next to her, with Jack she could start anew. She could believe in that warm fuzzy feeling that spreads through your heart at the sight of a loved one.
Meredith took another second to look at her lover’s face and swiftly swung her legs to the floor. She quietly tiptoed to the kitchen.
She reached for two mugs in which they usually drank their morning coffee and stopped suddenly. The mug that she pushed far away into the deepest part of the drawer was smugly staring at her, challenging her. His mug, yellow with a slight chip.
Before she knew it she was turning the cup in her hands, weighing it, testing herself. She let the porcelain mug slip out of her hands and shatter with a loud noise.
When the world throws you a challenge and your life crashes into a million pieces, you can do two things. Sit down, give up and cry or pull yourself together and face the new reality.
Meredith looked at the yellow shells of a broken cup and smiled softly. Sometimes you just have to let one thing break so that you can discover something new. Something better. After all everything happens for a reason, and even though not always can you patch things up you can always start from the beginning.