If you tell him you are not interested in jumping into a relationship with both feet, he will set out to try to change your mind.
Unfortunately when it comes to a relationship most men are like little, terrified puppies you can find around the corner in a shoebox, left on a street in a pouring rain (enter sad violin music). Of course they will rather crawl into a pit hole and die sooner than admit the sad truth.
A woman needs to show that she is interested in a man but it’s nothing serious. She needs to be cautious and mindful of his fears and doubts.
However, you don’t want to go into too intense approach. You can’t be too cold and uncaring. Remember about the little puppy in a shoebox. It needs coaxing, step by step convincing that this is his home, that he can feel safe but not bound. Never restrict man’s freedom but also don’t give him a cold shoulder. If he senses you lost interest totally, he will look for new hunting grounds.
Yes, I know it’s complicated, being hot&cold. It’s the essence of the game of love. Don’t you agree?
This week, make a forceful case for… something.
My uterus, my decision.
In the beginning I would like to thank all wise and startlingly male commentators regarding the abortion law that is maintained in Poland. Your opinion is so valuable, I’m sure, since you have uteruses, jajniki and periods each month yourselves, you regularly go into labor every 9 months, you can really appreciate poor females situation. I’m so happy that we can properly discus the miracle of labor, of pushing a watermelon through lemon wide channel. It’s nice that you know how comfortable it feels to have a body squirm on your bladder and the crazy hormones induced morning sickness. It’s also heartwarming that you feel the pain and shock of damaged life that suddenly is located inside your body. Not to mention that you can relate to the forced intercourse, when another man pushes hard rod inside your delicate organ. Yep, glad that males and females can talk about such experiences as equals.
And now let’s be serious because it’s a serious matter. Polish abortion law is one of the most strict laws in modern Europe. It’s as strict as Irish and Maltan law. And that’s it. In all liberal, democratic and modern countries the government doesn’t stick the nose up women vaginas.
In theory a woman can terminate the pregnancy in three cases: when she was raped, when the pregnancy is threatening her life and if the fetus has a lethal defect. That’s theory. In practice the doctors and pro-life activists will try to deter and postpone the decision until often it is too late.
Now, I’m not intending to persuade anybody to get an abortion. Why? Not because I think it is evil or inhumane or unchristian, but because simply IT IS NOT MY BUSINESS what anybody does to her or his body.
I don’t understand this need to look between our legs and make the space there a public business. It is not public. It’s a private area get that finally!
A bitch gives a man plenty of space so he doesn’t fear being trapped in a cage. Then . . . he sets out to trap her in his.
True and again a continuation of the previous principles.
The golden rule stays the same – do not make him feel trapped or let him feel that it’s obligatory to stay with you. Let him have a choice. Or at least think he has one.
Often the seemingly simple message you are sending to him gets distorted in the process of complicated male understanding.
Don’t make him confess his “sins” of not calling or not telling you where he was at midnight and why in a bar with those moron friends you don’t like. Don’t pressure him into telling you his secrets and he will gladly share them with you. What is more, he will feel that he needs to make an effort for you to be interested in what he is doing and in turn sharing your secrets with him.
Cement the relationship by building on a common need to share.
In conclusion we can repeat again – men are hunters and they like to chase the prey that resists. The hunt is often exciting for the hunter and the prey alike. The real question is, how to make the excitement last…
Whenever a woman requires too many things from a man, he’ll resent it. Let him give what he wants to give freely; then observe who he is.
True to a certain degree.
We have already established that a man is a conqueror, a warrior and of course a hunter. I agree with the author, that men like to do the impossible, take the longest route possible and complicate the most simple things just to prove that they can do it.
A conclusion? Make it difficult for him to contact you, get you to meet him and sacrifice your precious free time for him. Let him fight and go out of his way to create a loophole in your busy schedule.
When he calls don’t pick up the phone in the exact second it rings, don’t write back immediately after receiving a message and don’t jump onto the first proposition of a date for your meeting.
In plain words: let him fight for you, if not for your well being than for his.
Also let’s repeat here the rule: don’t smother him! Let him feel as if he has plenty of space to make turn and navigate on the stormy waters of a relationship.
There are also a no-no words, red alert words or words called OMG you might as well jump over the cliff. Don’t, even unintentionally, pressure him into thinking that this relationship is for forever, it will lead to marriage and a bunch of babies together with a golden retriever and a suburban house with white fence. In fact don’t discuss the future to broadly and to often.
Let him think that there is spontaneity to the course your relationship is taking. Let him think he holds the reigns and sets the pace, but we all know who is the head and who the neck in a male-female oriented relationships.
For today’s challenge, try a twist on a technique Ray Bradbury used to beat writer’s block.
The fog was like a cotton white blanket that hung low over the surface of the lake. The night was dark and damp. The cool air made even the crickets all eerily silent.
In the darkness that surrounded the lake valley, the only source of light was a single lit window. Be brave dear traveller and step through the mists and windows of the universe.
If you hear the fog horn cry, it means you are very late, as late as a White Rabbit was for a Mad Hatter tea party.
Run as fast as you can, cower and jump over the ravine rocks. Try as you can but you can never outrun the deadly pale scythe of fate.
Boarding the night train will scarcely help you, it will only buy you more time. But time is precious isn’t it? And as the carousel of life twists and turns in the brightly coloured carnival of life, no man can forever sit securely in a lush compartment of destiny.
If you smother him, he’ll go into defense mode and look for an escape route to protect his freedom.
This rule is a sort of follow up to the previous one and it’s absolutely true.
You will not only appear to be mothering him but you will also limit the scope of his freedom. Don’t be overbearing and demanding about silly things like calling every two hours to give a report how the day was and what happened. Time will come for sharing, relax, breathe and let him be a minute without your presence and questions.
A key here is patience. Yes, that’s correct – Patience. Now, let’s face it, easily said than done…being patient when it comes to your man is like asking a three year old to hold out and not eat a delicious pink candy before home made dinner. Very tough indeed, but rewarding. Seriously it goes a long way to show him that he will have support when needed and breathing space when necessary.
Of course that doesn’t mean you don’t have to take care of your man. They are basically big babies anyway so it’s in a package, like first aid mother kit. However, it needs to be well balanced care. The best way is to do it in a clandestine way, so that he doesn’t notice. Shouldn’t be hard, apart from being a babies they are also keen on overlooking small, everyday details.
To sum up, the doormat will be all over her man, squishing him with a rock hard love, good advice and aid. The bitch will remember her position, don’t push her care on a man but give it in a discreet way. Or not give it at all, after all she is a queen bee and all the drones should cater to HER needs or else be gone ;).
Whether you have terms and conditions indicates whether you have options. Almost immediately, you present yourself as a doormat or a dreamgirl.
Yes! Remember this rule because it’s a genuine one.
A man will respect you as far as your own self respect goes. There is no middle ground. Ask yourself a question, would you respect a person that is perfectly laid out for you to step on and trample? The same goes with a too nice girl aka the doormat.
It has nothing to do with being nice or impolite. You need to respect and appreciate yourself first because no one will do it for you!
We already established that a man likes a challenge, likes to hunt and likes to be superior. What happens when he reaches all three marks? Like every simpleminded little kid he starts to throw tantrums and get bored.
It’s your choice to either meekly accept it and let the child in him prevail or to stand up to your convictions and make him behave like a grown up and appreciate you.
It’s a constant fight between his expectations and your convictions. He wants you to be independent yes but also he wants you to be like his mother. And we all know that it’s one step away from being a total doormat…
And frankly mother type is the one that gets cheated the most. They do nothing wrong, to the contrary, they are perfect but it’s the bitch that gets to steal the guy. That turns him on.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not encouraging anybody to become a bitchy lover and make a guy cheat with you on his wife. A big NO.
However, you can’t allow to fall into the category of mommy-doormat. You might as well kiss your relationship goodbye.
What’s the general rule?
Do not appear to be mothering him! Don’t ask him the questions his mother would ask. Don’t smother him. In other words, don’t let your relationship become boring and your conversations predictable.